Motivation Is Overrated

"I'll start Monday."

"I just need more motivation."
Sound familiar?

What if you've been asking the wrong question all along?

In this episode, we're exploring why lasting change isn't built on motivation—it's built one choice at a time.

❤️ The life you want isn't waiting for motivation. It's waiting for your next choice.

 
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Can I ask you a question? Have you ever caught yourself saying, I'll start Monday? I just need to get motivated. When life settles down, then I'll. Or maybe I know exactly what I need to do. I just can't seem to make myself do it. I think every single one of us has said some version of these words. I know I have. And for a really long time I believed them. I believe motivation was the missing piece. That one day I'd wake up, I'd feel inspired, I'd feel excited, I'd have more energy, more confidence, more discipline, and suddenly everything would click. I'd finally become consistent. I'd finally follow through. I'd finally become the woman I wanted to be. But here's what I've realized. I wasn't actually waiting for motivation. I was waiting for a feeling. And feelings come and go. Some mornings we wake up energized. Other mornings we'd rather stay in bed. Some days we feel brave. Some days we question everything. Some days we feel unstoppable. Other days we wonder what we're even doing. That's being human. Feelings aren't the problem. The problem is when we hand them the steering wheel. Because here's something I've been thinking about lately. Feelings are wonderful indicators, but terrible decision makers. They can tell us something, but they shouldn't always tell us what to do. And that got me thinking, what if we've been giving motivation way too much credit? What if motivation isn't actually where change begins? What if we've been waiting on the wrong thing all along? Because the more I think about it, the more convinced I become that motivation isn't the starting line. It's usually the reward. Today I want to challenge something. I don't think the question is how do I become more motivated? I think the better question is what's the next right choice? Because I have a feeling that one question has the power to change far more than motivation ever could. Hey chick, welcome back to the crazy chicken lady show. I'm Nicole, and if this is your first time here, I'm really glad you found us. Around here, we have real conversations, not because I have life all figured out, because I definitely don't, but because I believe sometimes one conversation, one perspective, one question can completely change the way we think. And when we change the way we think, we often change the way we live. I don't know about you, but some of the biggest shifts in my life didn't happen because someone gave me another tip or another checklist or another five-step plan. They happen because someone challenged the way I was looking at something. That's what I hope today's conversation does. Because I honestly think we've been sold this idea that motivation is the thing we're missing. We look at someone who's healthy and we think they're just motivated. We look at someone who's built a business, written a book, has a great marriage, seems confident, always follows through, and somewhere in our minds we decide, I wish I had what they have. And we call it motivation. But what if that's not what we're actually seeing? What if we're looking at the result instead of what created the result? Can I ask you something? When was the last time you felt motivated? All day? Probably never. Because motivation comes and goes. Just like happiness, just like excitement, just like fear, just like frustration. So why have we built our lives around waiting for one feeling that was never designed to stay? I think we've been asking motivation to do a job it was never meant to do. And that's exactly what I want to talk about today. Think about how often you hear people say, I've lost my motivation. I just need to get motivated. I wish I had your motivation. Maybe you even said those words this week. I know I have, and honestly, for years I believed them. I thought motivation was something you either had or you didn't. I thought successful people were somehow more motivated than everyone else. That they woke up excited to work out, excited to have hard conversations, excited to do the difficult things. But the more people I've met, the more books I've read, the more conversations I've had, the less I believe that's true. Because I don't think successful people wake up feeling like doing hard things every day. I think they've simply stopped negotiating with every feeling they have. I want you to think about your own life for a minute. What's the thing you've been saying you'll start? Not what your spouse wants, not what your boss wants, not what social media says you should do. What have you been saying you'll start? Maybe it's taking care of yourself. Maybe it's leaving the job, maybe it's going back to school, maybe it's writing the book, maybe it's starting the business. Maybe it's having the conversation you've been avoiding. Maybe it's setting the boundary you've been afraid to set. Whatever it is, how long have you been waiting? A month? A year? Five years? Here's something I had to admit to myself. I wasn't actually waiting for motivation, I was waiting for certainty. I wanted to know I'd succeed before I started. I wanted to know I wouldn't fail. I wanted guarantees. I wanted confidence before courage. And life doesn't work that way. Because confidence usually shows up after courage, not before it. That realization changed everything because I realized waiting wasn't protecting me. I was keeping me exactly where I was. And maybe you've been there too. And once I realized that, I started asking myself a different question. Not how do I get motivated, but what's the next right choice? Just one. Not tomorrow, not next month, today. Because here's what I've learned. Life rarely changes because of one massive decision. It changes because of the hundreds of small decisions made over and over and over again. Can I ask you another question? What if the life you're living today is simply the result of the choices you've made over the last five years? Not fate, not luck, not motivation, just choices. Some intentional, some automatic, some wise, some made out of fear, some made out of courage, but choices nonetheless. And if that's true, isn't that also incredibly helpful? Because it means the choices you make today are quietly building the life you'll be living tomorrow. I don't know about you, but I find that incredibly freeing. Because it means I'm not stuck. You're not stuck. None of us are. As long as we're breathing, we get another choice. I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is believing we have to figure out our entire future. We put so much pressure on ourselves. We ask questions like, what am I supposed to do with my life? What's my purpose? How am I ever going to get there? Those are big questions, almost too big. No wonder they overwhelm us. What if instead of asking, how do I change my entire life? We simply asked, what's the next right choice? Because that's the question we can answer right now, today. Maybe your next right choice is getting up and going for a walk. Maybe it's drinking another glass of water. Maybe it's making the doctor's appointment you've been avoiding. Maybe it's forgiving someone. Maybe it's saying no. Maybe it's saying yes. Maybe it's finally believing you deserve more than what you've been settling for. The choice itself may seem small, but never underestimate what one small choice can begin. I've been thinking about dominoes lately. You know, those videos where someone tips over one tiny domino and eventually hundreds of them fall? Life reminds me of that. One choice starts another, then another, then another. We usually focus on the last domino, the business, the healthy body, the confidence, the dream. But none of those things happen without someone tipping over the first domino. Maybe today your first domino is simply deciding you're done waiting. I think about some of the biggest decisions I've made in my life. Leaving my corporate job, starting my own business, writing in my first ontology book, starting this podcast. Those sound like big moments. But they all started exactly the same way. Not with confidence, not with certainty, not with motivation, with one decision. When I decided to leave my corporate job, I had no guarantee it would work. Honestly, there were plenty of reasons to stay where I was. It was comfortable, it was familiar, it felt safe, but I also knew comfortable wasn't where I wanted to stay. So I made a choice. Now, did that one choice magically build a business? No. That would have been nice. That one choice simply handed me something new. Responsibility. Because after the decision came the work. Nobody else is going to build it for me. Nobody else was going to answer the emails, take the risks, solve the problems, or figure things out when I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. That became my responsibility. The same thing happened when I was invited to be part of my very first collaborative book. Saying yes, that was exciting. Honestly, that was probably the easiest part. But once I said yes, something changed. Now I had to actually write. I had to sit down in front of a blank screen. I had to meet deadlines, I had to push through self-doubt, I had to trust that maybe, just maybe my story could help someone else. The opportunity didn't write my chapter, my commitment did. And I think that's where we sometimes get stuck. We love announcing the goal, we love buying the planner, the journal, the workout clothes, the new shoes, the new notebook, the fresh start. Those things feel exciting, but excitement doesn't build a life. Ownership does. Ownership quietly asks so now what? You said you wanted to get healthier? Now what? You said you wanted a stronger marriage, now what? You said you wanted to write the book? Now what? You said you wanted to become more confident now what? Those two words now what have become some of the most important words in my life because they remind me that the decision was never the finish line. It was only the invitation. And that's when I realized something. Choice starts the journey. Responsibility keeps it moving. But there's one more piece, the piece that determines whether we keep going long after the excitement wears off, and that's commitment. Can I be honest? I think commitment gets a bad reputation. When we hear the word commitment, we usually think of something heavy, something difficult, something we have to force ourselves to do. Almost like commitment is a punishment for wanting something better. But I don't think that's what commitment is at all. I actually think commitment is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves, because commitment isn't about proving something to the world, it's about proving something to yourself. Think about all the promises you've made to yourself over the years. I'm going to stop settling, I'm going to lose the weight, I'm going to save more money, I'm going to stop saying yes to everything, I'm going to believe in myself. We've all made those promises, I know I have, but here's the question I keep coming back to. What happens when we stop believing in our own promises? I don't think we talk about that enough. Because every time we tell ourselves we're going to do something and then we don't, a tiny little crack forms. Not in our ability, in our trust. We stop trusting ourselves, not because we're incapable, but because we've taught ourselves I probably won't follow through anyway. And that breaks my heart. Because I think so many women aren't struggling with motivation. They're struggling with trust. Trust in themselves. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to keep a promise to someone else? If you tell your friend you'll meet her for coffee, you show up. If your kid needs you, you show up. If your boss expects you at work, you show up. We keep promises to everyone else, but somewhere along the way, we've convinced ourselves it's okay to break the promises we make to ourselves. And after enough broken promises, we start believing maybe I'm just not disciplined. Maybe I don't have what it takes. Maybe this just isn't who I am. No, I don't believe that anymore. I think you've simply stopped believing yourself, and those are two very different things. That realization changed everything for me because I stopped making giant promises. I stopped saying, I'm gonna change my whole life. Instead, I started asking, what's one promise I can keep today? Not next month, not forever, today, because every promise I keep became evidence, evidence that maybe I could trust myself again. There's a quote I heard years ago that has always stuck with me. It says, We become what we repeatedly do. The older I get, the more I believe that's true. Not because repetition makes us perfect, because repetition shapes our identity. Think about that. Nobody wakes up one morning and suddenly becomes confident. Nobody wakes up disciplined, nobody wakes up resilient. Those things are built quietly, one decision at a time, one promise at a time, one ordinary Tuesday at a time. Isn't that funny? We celebrate the big moments, the promotion, the business launch, the finished book, the weight loss photo, the before and after picture. But nobody celebrates the random Tuesday when you choose to keep going. And honestly, I think Tuesday deserves more credit. Because Tuesday is where commitment lives. Tuesday is where nobody is clapping. Nobody is watching. Nobody is handing out trophies. It's just you and the promise you made. And maybe that's where character is built too. I've been thinking a lot about identity lately because I don't think your choices just create results. I think they create us. Every single choice we make is casting a vote for the person we're becoming. Read that again in your mind for a second. Every choice is casting a vote. When you choose courage, you're casting a vote for becoming courageous. When you choose honesty, you're casting a vote for becoming honest. When you choose to keep the promise you made to yourself, you're casting a vote for becoming someone you can trust. That's why I don't believe confidence is something you find anymore. I think confidence is something you earn, not from other people, from yourself. Because confidence grows every time you look in the mirror and realize I did what I said I was going to do. Can I tell you something? There are still days I don't feel like doing the hard things. There are days I'd rather stay comfortable, days I'd rather procrastinate, days I'd rather wait until tomorrow. I'm human. You're human. That's never going away. The difference now is I don't expect motivation to rescue me anymore. I don't sit around hoping the feeling shows up. Because I've learned something. Feelings are wonderful indicators, but terrible decision makers. Feelings tell me what's going on inside, but they don't get to decide the direction of my life. My choices do. And maybe that's the biggest lesson I'm learning. Not how to feel differently, how to choose differently. Because every time I choose differently, I become differently. And isn't that what we're all really after? Not just changing our lives, but becoming the woman we knew were capable of being. So before we wrap up today, I want to leave you with something to think about. Not because I expect you to wake up tomorrow and completely change your life. Honestly, I don't think that's how change works. Real change doesn't usually happen because of one big dramatic decision. It happens because of hundreds of ordinary choices. The ones nobody sees, the ones nobody applauds, the ones that don't make social media, the ones that happen quietly, when it's just you and your own integrity. Can I ask you a question? What have you been waiting to feel motivated enough to do? Really think about that. Not what came to mind first, the thing underneath that. The thing you've been carrying around for a while. Maybe you've been waiting to apply for the job. Maybe you've been waiting to leave the relationship. Maybe you've been waiting to take care of your health. Maybe you've been waiting to forgive someone. Maybe you've been waiting to forgive yourself. Maybe you've been waiting to believe you're worthy of more. Whatever it is, what if you stopped waiting? Not because you're suddenly motivated, not because you're suddenly fearless, but because you've decided. You're no longer willing to let your feelings make your decisions. I think one of the greatest lies we believe is that change has to be dramatic. That if we're going to change our lives, we need a brand new plan, a perfect schedule, a huge breakthrough. But what if that's not true? What if your future is built the same way a brick wall is built? One brick at a time. One choice at a time. One promise at a time. One ordinary day stacked on top of another. That's not very glamorous, but maybe that's why it works. You know, I've realized something. The women I admire most aren't the ones who never struggle. They're not the ones who always have it together. They're not the ones who never doubt themselves. They're the women who keep choosing. They choose to get up, they choose to apologize, they choose to grow, they choose to keep showing up. Even when no one notices, even when progress feels slow, even when they don't feel like it. Maybe that's what strength really looks like. Not perfection, not performance, just the courage to choose again. And maybe that's why I couldn't believe motivation changes lives anymore. Because motivation is a feeling. Feelings come and feelings go. But character is built through choices. Trust is built through choices. Confidence is built through choices. The life you're hoping for is built through choices. Maybe, just maybe you've been waiting for motivation. When what you've really needed is ownership. Ownership of your choices, ownership of your dreams, ownership of your future. Because here's something I know to be true. No one else gets to build your life. People can encourage you, love you, support you, cheer for you, pray for you, believe in you, but at the end of the day, they can't make your choices. Only you can do that. And while that sounds like a lot of responsibility, I actually think it's one of the most hopeful things we could ever believe. Because it means your future isn't determined by what happened yesterday. It's influenced by what you choose today. That should give all of us hope. Before we wrap up, it's time for the egg of the week. If you're new here, the egg of the week is one simple thought I hope you'll carry with you throughout the week. And if you've been listening for a while, welcome back to one of my favorite parts of every episode. This week's egg of the week is this. Not next Monday, not January 1st, not when life settles down, not when you feel ready, your next choice. Because every choice you make is casting a vote for the person you're becoming. And every promise you keep becomes evidence that you can trust yourself. So this week, don't worry about changing your whole life. Just make the next right choice. Then tomorrow, make the next one. Chick, thank you. Thank you for spending part of your day with me. I know life is busy. I know your to-do list is probably a mile long. I know mine is. And the fact that you spend these minutes with me having a conversation like this truly means more than you know. If today's podcast made you stop and think, would you please do me a favor and share it with someone you care about? Not because I'm chasing downloads, but because maybe someone you love has been sitting on the sidelines of their own life, waiting for motivation to show up. And maybe this conversation is exactly what they needed to hear. And if you're enjoying the crazy chicken lady show, I'd be so grateful if you'd leave a review. Every review helps another woman find these conversations. And if this episode spoke to you, I'd love to hear from you. Send me a text, text the show, leave a comment, tell me what's the next right choice you're going to make. I'd love to cheer you on. Until next Tuesday, remember this: you don't have to have every answer. You don't have to have every step figured out. You don't have to wait until you feel ready. You just have to make the next right choice. Because every life, every dream, every healthy relationship, every successful business, every confident woman is built one choice at a time. And I'll see you next Tuesday.